Cloud's Inner Rant
by The Black Death Revelation
Summary: Always tired of being called a chocobo, Cloud takes this time to tell people how he feels. *Skit for a convention, and also it's going to be a series of one shots of varing lengths.
1. Quit Calling Me A Chocobo!

**_a/n: _**The reason it's like the way it is that I'm planing on doing this at a anime convention once I get a Cloud cosplay, and the money to go to one. And I need it to be more neater than how I wrote it. Hope you enjoy. Also I don't own FFVII, I wish I did....yeah....

Cloud: A question! Can someone tell me how a chocobo could look like me?*Points to self* It doesn't really help that Zack, Yuffie, and everybody else calls me a freaking yellow chocobo on steroids! Uhhh….well Vincent, Red, and Tifa doesn't really call me that, but that's beside the point! A chocobo should look like this. *Takes out a chocobo plushie, then points to crowd/camera* Now don't start with the chocobo jokes. It's bad enough that someone actually mistaken me as a chocobo. It's embarrassing really. I'm the guy who beaten Sephiroth like three times, saved the world three or two….times? Don't remember but still!! It just gets on my nerves. Yuffie made a joke one day that if a flock of chocobos saw me they would accept me as one of their own. Then Zack proceded to say, "Yeah, they take one look at Cloud, and say 'One of us.'" Sometimes I wonder what's really going on in his head. Now don't get me started about what Kadaj said about me "being" a chocobo.

Net Guy: *Walks behind Cloud and catches him with a net* Yes! I caught the elusive Yellow-Headed Black Chocobo!* Then runs off to show his friend what he caught*

Cloud: *annoyed* See what I mean?! Maybe I should dye my hair a different color so it doesn't look like I'm a chocobo…*Electric De Chocobo plays in background* No, wait…. Zack will say that I'm a "rare" new breed of chocobo…Damn!!

Net Guy:*Comes back with a friend* See, I told you I caught the rare Yellow-Headed Black Chocobo!

Net Guy's Friend: Well I be, I guess you did. You made a believer out of me. Is it suppose to be featherless? I know they're flightless birds, but still shou-

Cloud: That is it!! Come here so I can freaking kick your ass! Call me a freaking flightless, featherless bird!*Chases the two guys, who are screaming, off stage/screen, then walks back on* Well that takes care of those two idiots. Now where was I? Oh, me "being" a chocobo. You know what? I don't need this. I'm stressed out as it is with this geostigma, the remnants attacking me at any moment, everybody calling me all the time, ect… that I don't need to explain myself to you guys . *To self* Tifa wonders why I don't answer the phone…oh well! Life is grand. I better make sure no one steals the material… again, so don't ask about me looking like a chocobo!

Random Guy in Background: Hey!!! It's that rare Yellow-Headed Black Chocobo!

Cloud: *Has a face that says "I give up," and sighs. Takes a look at the chocobo plushie and throws it over shoulder* (murmuring) I give up! I swear if someone else calls me a chocobo, I will take Cerberus from Vincent and shoot them with it!!


	2. It wasn't him

A/N And I'm back from the dead...literally...long story, but here I am again. It's something that I just quickly wrote and put together from what can I remember of what I some what wrote on the second chapter. If you get any ideas on what I can write next just send me a PM, and I will try to make a chapter out of it. Thanks to the only two people who reviewed, and to who ever favored this, I wasn't expecting really anybody to reply or even favorited this. And here is the second chapter one shot thing, once I can remember how to add another chapter.

Cloud: I will tell you this once, and it will be the only time. Sephiroth was the one who turned me into a common yellow, not Genesis.

Zack: Are you sure? It sounds like something Genesis would do, I mean honestly Cloud.

Cloud: In case you forgotten, Genesis was on a mission when it happened and Sephiroth just happened to be there.

Zack: … I knew that.

Cloud: Sure you did Zack.

Zack: I did, and I kind of had forgotten though…

Cloud: So...?

Zack: You know what…Hey! How did you changed back?

Cloud: I don't want to talk about it.

Zack: ….Ummm… Forget that I asked, I don't want to know now…

Cloud: WHAT? It wasn't like that, honestly, I just didn't want to talk about it. Then you thought it was that, and, and just forget it…


End file.
